Sometimes people ask me how I can believe in the supernatural. And sometimes, I tell them the story of my own superpower. This isn’t a secret I tell a lot of people, but I’ve decided to finally reveal the truth in this blog. I am . . . a spider-whisperer. Yes, indeed it’s true.
When my husband and I first married, we lived in an apartment on the second floor. We had a huge spider, insect problem. It wasn’t really that huge, but I DO NOT like things crawling around inside my home with their own agendas. How am I supposed to feel comfortable knowing someone is skittering across the floor, mocking me because they are using my apartment to escape the rain and don’t even bother to chip in for rent?
Needless-to-say this was a problem for weeks. Then I ran into another issue. I felt guilty about harming spiders and insects. I don’t like to do it. But I will . . . if you pass the threshold of my doorway. Because I don’t like you, spiders and insects. You creep me out. I’d rather have a vampire living under my bed then a spider web come down from the ceiling and land on my face.
EEEK. This blog is grossing me out. Anyway, on with the story. I found myself in a conundrum. I don’t like killing the spiders. I don’t want them in my house . . . so what could I do? Well, that’s when I discovered my powers. I decided that if I didn’t see the spiders, I wouldn’t have to kill them. Sure, they could come hang out. I wouldn’t wish anyone out into the rain. But they needed to be respectful and at least attempt to hide better.
I went from room to room in that apartment, telling the spiders and insects the deal. I literally said out loud, “Listen up, spiders and insects and anything else crawly, I don’t like your attitude. I don’t want to have to kill you, but I will if I see you. Please don’t let me see you.”
By this point I think you’ve all realized my husband married a crazy lady. He wasn’t too thrilled with my display because I suppose it could be argued that going room to room and talking to yourself is essentially crazy. But guess who had the last laugh?
I never saw another spider or insect again in that apartment! I swear to you, from that day forward, until the day we moved, I had no problem. Obviously, that’s when I discovered my spider-whispering abilities.
Sometimes reality makes a better fantasy. Watch out for that book I’m working on with the spider-whisperer. Then at the beginning, I can write: Inspired by a true story.
Do you have a strange, mystical ability or talent that inspired your writing?